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The Pink Underwear Story...

(Originally posted on Kylie's blog - http://kayjer.com/ <--- visit her there!!!)

So because I have to keep this short, (Kylie told me to…) I thought I’d share with you all a pretty funny story that happened to me when I first moved to downtown Edmonton.
Fast Forward.
A few years prior to this event, my friends had all pooled their money together to get me a birthday present. Instead of getting me something nice that I liked, they all decided to spend over $100 at the dollar store and buy me a bunch of crap. Now they did however ask me what I wanted, to which I replied “Just get me a hoodie from American Apparel”. This would turn out to be a bad suggestion. My friends went to American Apparel and purchased my gift.
So back on track, I got the bag of crap with a plastic saw that made sawing noises, a pen the size of a badger, colored staples, a feather boa, numerous children’s toys, some chocolate….and at the very bottom of the bag, which was supposed to be my hoodie…was a pair of bright pink boy short type underwear. I flipped…. “This is not a hoodie!” I exclaimed… when one of my friends shouted… “Yeah we know, we figured this would be better than a hoodie.” So I grunted back…”I sure as shit hope you don’t expect me to model these for you….” “No….gross!” Me: “Thank god for that….”

So, a year or so later (yes I did wear them…) I moved to an apartment downtown. I had washed my clothes prior to leaving mom’s house and had roughly a month until I had to do laundry. Skip ahead one month and I found myself in the laundry room. The pink underwear is now the LAST pair I wear…which reminds me I need to do laundry. So I finally get the drying out and head up the elevator. It stops a few floors up and the most amazing looking woman gets on. We exchange pleasantries and she looks down towards my pile of clothes and covers her mouth with her hand, holding in a chuckle. I smile and she points to the top of my basket wherein lies my pink underwear…looking as though god himself placed them there…all pressed and gingerly placed on top as a beacon of cleanliness. I think to myself… “Sonofa…” and those of you who know me well enough know I am extremely witty and hilarious…so in attempt to break the ice with hottie mchotterson I say the following… “Oh THOSE…. Those belong to my husband…” squeaking out a snicker and a sigh… Let me point out here the fact that I am not gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that…) nor did I have a husband at the time…or now for that matter. It didn’t dawn on me that saying that would potentially ruin any sort of possible future contact with this babe, I was just trying to be funny. She belted out a laugh the likes of which I have never seen… tears streaming down her face… I had won. But at what cost? Well… I never saw her again. UNTIL….

About a month later I was explaining to my friend the story, who immediately called me an idiot and demanded the revocation of my man card. I had lost a point for the team and was being fired from manhood. He chuckles and shakes his head disappointingly at me as we enter the elevator. A few floors up it stops and the doors open to who else…. Babe McHottiness. She smiles at me….I smile back… then she looks at me, leans over, nudges me gently and says… “So, is that your husband?” We all burst into homicidal laughter with the exception of my friend…who by implying he was gay now looks a little more punchy. He still bugs me about it to this day, and I still have the underwear. Hope you enjoyed! And Thank's to the lovely Kylie for the guest post! :)

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