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How to stop being a turbo-cunt in 10 easy steps: A Journey of self exploration

Hey folks! I'm back again and this time with a much more personal rant.

This's work related.

Now I'm not going to mention where I currently work, or where I used to work, for the obvious reasons, but the few of you out there in internet land who know me well, know exactly where I work/used to work. I suggest you take initiative on your own to avoid these companies as I myself would not purchase anything from a place of work that had the following "going's on" behind closed doors. Most companies are filled with complete B.S., and I have refused to go to places where I have been either A) Treated poorly or B) I know someone who has.

Now normally I would hold back writing about something so personal, and something so "taboo" due to fear of firing or some type of set back, but I'm really quite sick and tired of the complete bullshit that I deal with and have dealt with on a daily basis. I feel I must express these emotions before I shit a volcano of hate.

Basically I just don't give a fuck anymore. If you're offended then you're either a baby or an idiot, so please feel free to fuck off with my stamp of approval anytime.

So now here we go: (In no particular order of importance...)

#1) Keep your ignorant comments to yourself.

If I'm talking and you interrupt me with some nonsesical rude comment, keep your fucking mouth shut.

If there's one thing I hate more than anything else, it's rude people. Being rude to others makes them think you are a bitch, because you are. If you insist on being a mega giant gaping hole of vagina, please do so on your own time where I don't have to listen to your annoying voice.

#2) Don't treat me like a child.

I'm minimum 10 years older than you and am probably better than you at most things. You have no life experience whatsoever. You opinions basically mean fuck-all to me, especially the work related ones. This has probably been your first real job and I know you think you know alot, but really you know absolutely nothing. This is my 15th job....and therefore am more well-rounded than you at pretty much any facet of the company. Don't try to make out like your knowledge extends well beyong your years, because when you get to be my age, with my experience, you can see right through that bullshit veil of yours.

3) Do some actual work.

You're either in meetings all of the time or out of the office, yet claim you're working. We all know you're not. Even with my suggestion of helping out and being noticed working would change the office moral a little, you still spit in my face. This is why people hate you and don't respect you. Again, you claim to be a wise old sage and have some sort of wisdom that omnipotent beings would be jealous of, however you're too busy proclaiming you're such a goddamn genius to notice your mouth is full of bullshit. People notice shit. People notice others working hard and getting shit done...just as you do. Would you honestly go to someone like yourself to have something urgently taken care of? Or would you give it to someone who everyone knows can do the job. Welcome to your joke retard.

#4) Don't ask me to do something and then do it yourself.

First, let me explain something. I am not a retard. You are.

You ask me to do something, then a few hours goes by, you follow up with me and I haven't gotten to it yet. You get all pissy and throw a power trip tantrum then say out loud "WELL I GUESS I'LL JUST DO IT MYSELF THEN...."

A) Fuck you.

B) Why didn't you tell me it was something urgent? If it needed to be handled swiftly, that's your reponsibility to fucking tell me. I'm not psychic you cow bitch.

And finally....

C) Did you even ask if I was busy? Maybe I'm knee deep in a pile of shit and don't have time to even look at you let alone handle whatever meanial task you have for me. You want to be a rude slut and say outloud that you'll do it, making me think that I'm some type of loser that couldn't handle your shit. Well I can, but now when you ask me to do something the following 2 things happen: I put whatever it is you need done on the fucking back burner. Why? Because I know it's not important, you just want it done now. Everything is urgent to you. Let me explain something to you...

You are not some corporate executive that has to losen his tie all the time when the shit hits the fan. You are at the bottom rung of the ladder. Stop trying to make it sound like the entire company is in jeopardy after everything that happens. Nothing that happens here is THAT FUCKING BAD! So grow the fuck up.

#5) You are not my boss.

From the moment I stepped into the office you have pretty much tried to put yourself forward as my boss. You are not.

First of all, a boss shouldn't be a fuck head. So you can discontinue that shit right now. I have been a boss before and I was never hated. Why? Cause I wasn't a tyranical dipshit like you were. I let them have fun and guided them....not barked orders and shot fire out of my asshole like you do. Everyone I have spoken to hates you. Cause you're a raging bitchaholic. You might get the job done, but there is a way you can get the job done, have people respect you AND like you....just a word of advice.

#6) Stop complaining.

You are pretty much a non-stop complaint box with a spoken word option built in. You compain about everything. Even when I make some stupid joke that YOU don't get...even after I explain it you still complain. How you ever got engaged is beyond me. I can't imagine being stuck in an elevator with you for 3-5 minutes. I'd used my fucking tie to hang myself the minute the doors closed. You complain even when I do a good job... shut. up. please.

#7) Let me do my job.

You were not hired to watch me work. I do not need to be mirco managed. I am not a child.

I don't need supervision. While I applaud your efforts to have me under your thumb for most if not all of the day, please go fuck yourself and let me do my job. If I require assistance or have a question, I believe 16 years of education has taught me that I am able to voice that request at any time. So you don't need to follow-up with everything that I do, nor do you need to know everything that I'm doing. It is none of your fucking business what I am doing. I am paid to do a job, and I am doing it. That's pretty much all you ever need to know.

#8) No-one likes you.

Personally I fucking can't stand you. Work relations are alot more complicated that any physical one outside the office....why? Because you see the people you work with 900% more than you see your significant other. That's why I don't need any of your bullshit at work. I don't like you, I don't want to like you, I don't want others to like you...and in fact part of why I writing this entire piece is because of you. As far as I can tell, no-one else likes you either....shouldn't that tell you something? I'm pretty sure you's quite obvious, so if you're really that clueless then you need a brain transplant.

I honesltly have never disliked someone as much as you and being that I have only known you for a short period of time, that says alot. Usually I can tell right away whether or not I'll like something, and I knew from the moment I met you that you were a shit cock. You're friend too. Don't try to be nice to me when you need something, save the bullshit. I'm here to do a job and am obligated to help...not because I want to, but because I'm paid to help you. If it was something personal you needed help with I'd tell you to fuck off to the farthest reaches of time and space until you could fuck off no more, then I'd tell you to fuck-off from there.

So what I'm saying is, stop fake trying to impress people and do something that will actually make you look as nice as you can be....put some effort in....shit-can the bullshit rudeness because it's getting you nowhere FAST!

#9) I have no time, so stop mounting me up with work....I'm not a horse.

It's not that I can't organize my day, prioritize my workload or otherwise...there is JUST TOO FUCKING MUCH OF IT!

I am only one man, and can only do so much in one day. I really don't give a sweet fuck what the customer wants. If they know how shit works then they would have absolutely no reason to bitch. If they had ANY idea of how long things took there would be no issue. See the problem is not me, and I'm not a victim, but there comes a time when you will see the light, and then you'll know that all along it was not be. I call things like they are. If I'm busy, I'm fucking busy...I don't need a lesson on re-organizing my day....and since when did you have a diploma from the University of Organization? I'm a VERY organized individual. I remember things I need to do, but when there are TOO many things to remember, let alone time to even put them in a reminder note...what then asshole? Where does your amazing genius come into play then? Does it magically appear there? NO....that's when we need more people....

And NO FUCK HEAD....that doesn't mean I can stay late every day just because your company is too fucking stupid to hire anyone else.... I hope you enjoyed that I quit. Maybe now you'll take the hint.


#10) You understand nothing.

I explain things to you, and tell you step by step what happened, and you claim to be clueless and that I cannot explain things properly... well here's a newsflash.... every time I went to explain something to you, I had already spoken to numerous other people using the exact same terminology and sentences as I did with you, and you're the only stupid motherfucker who didn't "understand".

I know it must be hard for you to bullshit your way to the top, having everyone hate you and then not being able to understand what people are talking about, but take some responsibility for once in your life and stop pushing it off to the side and deflecting everything. Not once did you even say that I was right...even after I was pretty much being harassed and called you out on still sat there with a stupid grin saying it was all me....well it's not. I know it, and you fucking know it. That's why I left....primarily because of you, and the same shit is going down somewhere else....and guess what?

I'm quitting there too. As soon as I get my hands on the job that I want, you better believe that I'll be getting the fuck out of there too.

Got any bad work rants? Post them the fuck on here.... tell these motherfuckers what you really think....


  1. I will see you at work Monday....

    1. Owwwwww, she series. Shes going to fire your ass

  2. I think there is more than just a little chance that the cunt here is *you*, not *them*.

    Whatever. Be safe, do your stuff the best you can, enjoy.

    1. ha ha I totally agree that I can be cunty, but this is not all just me. At the time I was being pulled in like 5 different directions. They were good at their jobs, and I was good at mine, if I was left to actually do it. Micro-management is never a good style to adopt. My point was that this person was just shitty to everyone in general. I normally don't poise myself into a position of hating someone this much, but when you're day in day out slammed with pissy behavior it really pushes buttons. Not that this is the right thing to do, but ranting does help you feel better. Which is why I left the company & person out of it.

  3. You are a fucking chad.

  4. Whoever you are - you're my hero. I was feeling pretty shitty and came across this post . It made me crap myself laughing. You made my day! Thank you:)

  5. I don’t think he realises that, through this piece of writing, he’s the biggest turbo-cunt in the the room... by a fucking country mile.


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